Motherly wisdom :: by mama

I recently read the book Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys. It's not a new book; I've had it since Kaya was born and have only just now gotten around to reading it. (Oops.) I got a lot out of the book and would strongly recommend it to parents and teachers of boys -- in fact, I think I'm going to buy one for Kaya's pre-K teacher next year. Does that make me the kind of parent teachers dread??

In any case, in honor of Mother's Day, I wanted to share the passage that has stuck with me the most from the book, the one that I find myself thinking about at some point in every day. Here it is:

"When we see a mother and son in a synchronous relationship, we see a mother willing to look upon child rearing as a practice -- like meditation or yoga -- and willing to try to view the world through her son's eyes in order to understand his needs. That willingness to learn from a child is the single strongest trait in a parent, and it is so important for the mother of a boy because she has so much to learn about a boy's experience of himself and his world."

I like the idea of coming to parenting as a practice: coming to it fresh each day and trying to improve in whatever ways we can. I can relate to this idea from yoga, where we might do the same poses over and over again, but in some ways they are new every time, and there is always some way of improving, adjusting, stretching a little more. I can't say that I always approach parenting with such a Zen-like attitude, but it is a good mantra for me.

Happy mother's day to all the moms out there, most especially to our own fantastic mothers, who have done so much to guide and encourage us. They have put up with a lot from us over the years, as we throw ourselves into situations that most "normal" children would avoid, but they have taken it all in stride and supported us in so many ways. We continue to learn from their examples of generosity and unconditional love. We love you!!