not for everyone.

I tried not to vomit as I ran down the main road on my way to my school and eventually on to fields of green. It's not uncommon to see people urinating into the open sewage drains right in front of your very eyes. On this particular morning the stench was almost unbearable. Fortunately I was able to keep it together and I picked up the pace running away from the overpowering odors. It is a smell that I won't soon forget. When we lived in DC, Bunte (our dog/son) would find his way into the bushes and roll around in a homeless person's feces. This putrid odor had me gaging then and on the brink of vomiting now. Life here is not for everyone.

Aside from a teacher friend, my only running partner seems to be the pollution. It follows me almost everywhere. It almost always keeps up with me and makes sure to pace me through the 90 degree+ temperatures with close to 100% humidity. My lungs burn as I weave through traffic. At what point am I cancelling out the fitness with the toxic fumes I ingest!? Finding the motivation to run is sometimes difficult. I look forward to the fields not only for the lack of pollution, but the solitude I find. There aren't many instances when you will find yourself alone here in Dhaka. Bangladesh is one of the most densely populated countries in the world. There are 900 people for every square mile. Life here is not for everyone.

Being a foreigner has its definite perks. Some of these pros I have described in previous posts, others I will in due time. I would also say that it has a downside to it as well. I am often times viewed as a source of money and not a person. This makes integrating into the community rather difficult. Anyhow, I learned a valuable lesson upon first arriving here in Dhaka. No prices are ever final. Even if the price tag says 120 taka you can almost always get a better deal. It is the times when I don't see a tag that I become unsettled because what is then thrown my way is an inflated price that can sometimes be as much as 200% of what the item would normally cost. Generally speaking, I don't mind paying a little more for fruit or veggies, but this constant battle with local merchants to haggle can sometimes be a drag. Especially because I do feel guilty at times with all the money I have compared to them. A good friend of mind once told me that when he was on a trip to Mexico he was buying items from local vendors and he would just pay them what he deemed the value of the items to be. He didn't even ask a price. First of all, he didn't speak Spanish and secondly, he didn't mind paying more than what the item would cost normally. I have always thought that to be good advice. I have too much of my father in me to alway settle though.....( a quick story)

About a month ago I went into a store to purchase a chair. Sheela had done the research a week prior to that and got a quote on this fun chair we wanted for Kaya's room. The price seemed a bit high so I went in to see if the price changed depending on the customer. To my surprise the price was exactly the same as what Sheela was quoted. It was now my duty to knock the price down since it of course had to be overpriced. I looked at the chair, the cushion and shook my head. I told the man that this chair wasn't worth 4,500 taka. It didn't have a finish and the cushion was very poorly constructed. I said, with money in hand. Here is 4,000 taka can you help me move this to the van? I thought he would love the money right then and there and it would be too good to pass up. He of course said no, but he would take 4,200. I shook my head and walked out on the man. I really wanted to take the deal and run! It was only around a five dollars difference, but I felt if I came back another day he would surely drop down to 4,000. A week or two later stopped by and just my luck, the chair was gone! Good job Chris. I then described the chair to him and said he should make me one for 4,000 taka. This guy was no dummy, so he declined and reminded me that 4,200 was the price. I finally agreed and put down a 2,000 taka deposit. He made the chair and a week later it was delivered to Kaya's room. Haggling....not for everyone.

It bothers me to no end that EVERYWHERE I go I see people on the streets, begging for money and food. I don't blame them and I am not angry at them. I am instead bothered by the fact that there is really nothing I can do to change their lives. We sometimes buy extra food and hand it out as we go along, but that isn't a long term solution. It only provides that person with a meal for that moment. It breaks my heart when I see a lady with what I assume to be her naked child begging for anything. This is the reality of living in Dhaka. A country that has little in the way of any resources and a lot in the way of people. What are these people supposed to do? At night time you see kids running around barefoot and in rags. What future do they have? They can't or won't most likely get an education. Many of these kids will die at an early age or if they do grow up they will then become a burden to society in ways they can't help. It's not their fault. I feel terrible at times. I won't become numb to this. It hurts. Not for everyone.

A recent discussion with a family member gave me the idea for the theme of this post. "not for everyone." I in no way want to make this adventure seem like it's all peaches and cream. We are almost two months into it and it's not easy. We don't have everything we would have in the States, but we have more than enough to live a good life. (FYI our shipment still hasn't arrived so we continue to live out of our suitcases.) All things considered, we are happy and are grateful for this experience and will walk away, whenever that may be, better because of it. I am in no way claiming martyrdom but just trying to express, why?!

That being said, I want to tell a quick story that inspired me to first of all do Peace Corps and consequently changed my life. For the better...

John Grisham gave the commencement speech at Southern Miss in May of 1998. He boasted of having given the shortest commencement speech ever at Ole Miss just two years prior and he promised not to let that record stand. I had read a few of his books and enjoyed them, but was delighted to hear that he wouldn't be long. I was not anticipating his words would change my life. The gist of what he had to say was this: "As new graduates you shouldn't rush out to get jobs. Instead you should leave the country, live abroad and gain a new perspective. View the U.S. as an outsider would. Learn how people perceive us and see if the world is different than what you had expected. You would do more to help the world, your country and yourselves by gaining a new perspective." This in turn would assist us in finding gainful employment and ultimately help make us better people. The message he gave that day would stick with me and later on at a time of confusion guide me to my path I may have never considered. Good work John, thanks man!

Cue in the Jimmy Buffett song: He went to Paris....

I tell that story only to make a point. He was right, after Belize I often found myself longing to go back or to simply leave the country. I was a changed man and I feel like I continue to evolve in my views. Bangladesh is really one of the last places on Earth I had ever expected to end up. Well, Yemen would be another one of the not likely to live in countries. It is so different from anything I have ever experienced. I read about life in Dhaka, but reading and living are two different things. I take from this adventure all the good things, (a great job, money, an education for Kaya, etc..) I also absorb and attempt to comprehend the less pleasant things, (poverty, pollution, population, corruption, etc...) Both of which shape me in ways I could have never imagined or read about or visited. I have to live, I have to experience and in many ways, I have to be. Like Grisham said, "this will shape you in ways you could never imagine and in the end it will make you a better person." A better person, is ultimately what I want to be. A better world is where I want to live. In many ways this isn't the best life, but it is the path I have chosen. It's not for everyone, but I am grateful for every obstacle I face and am I appreciative of how it shapes me.

"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man, true nobility comes from being superior to your former self."




*Please note that all the thoughts and ideas on this blog are mine and mine alone. They in no way represent what my family or people from my country think. Also, if you can find me a teaching job in the States where I can support a family, put money towards retirement, savings, pay off debt and work one job I will come back as soon as my contract here is completed.