A bad case of stripes

This morning Kaya and I were singing the song "The Bare Necessities" from The Jungle Book. I realized at one point that he must have misunderstood the words, because he was saying "stripes" instead of "strife."

Look for the bare necessities, the simple bare necessities
Forget about your problems and your stripes.

Ha! It was so cute, I couldn't bring myself to correct him.

random thoughts

This isn't very good, just a bit of rambling on my part.

I told Sheela the other day that I think I will "have my head around" my work by maybe after Christmas. I have never been so busy at any job I have ever had. It got so bad last week that I started waking up in the middle of the night thinking about things I need to finish. My head is spinning. That being said, I feel like I can see the bigger picture and I am enjoying my new challenges. I really do like my job and I haven't enjoyed teaching this much in quite some time. But OMG, I can't wait until January!!! A lot of it is just getting used to a new system and the added responsibilities of being head of a department.

I went to Tioman, Malaysia a few weeks back. I was one of four teachers that got to go. It was pretty amazing. I really need to devote a whole entry to what I experienced there. The most eye opening part was the kids. Many of them have travelled the world, but have never really left their nannies behind. I couldn't believe some of the things I was seeing and hearing. I came away from that trip a much more educated person and I understand our kids much better now. I promise more on that soon!

FYI, right now my brother is running the Marine Corps Marathon. www.marinemarathon.com. I feel like a parent, watching and waiting (online) to see how he does. Fortunately, they have updates every 5k. I am very nervous right now!!! I really hope he gets the time he wants. I will not comment on that any more since I am a bit superstitious. Anyhow, if you know him or would like his number to call and congratulate him please shoot me an email. He has worked so very hard for more than 18 weeks and he certainly deserves a phone call!!! I love that guy!!! His wife is also running and it would appear as if she is going to achieve her PR as well! Way to go!

I head to Tokyo in a few days. I am super excited. I can't really imagine what it will be like. I keep imagining Bill Murray in Lost in Translation. Anyhow, I am heading there for a professional development workshop. I look forward to the workshop, but hope it doesn't go late into the evening so that I might do a bit of exploring.

I have been feeling a wee bit homesick lately. We recently received our shipment and so I suspect that is the reason. All the items we haven't seen since mid-July back in Chapel Hill. Ed, Mike...been thinking about you guys. Our house in the woods is sounding pretty good right about now. I had an epiphany the other day. I was showing another teacher my disc-golf discs and I started thinking about where we could go outside of school.....and my realization was that there isn't really anywhere we could go. The field at school was pretty much it. That hit me pretty hard. In a city of 15 million people there is little space to throw frisbees around. For someone as active as myself that is a tough one to swallow.

We were out and about the other day. This small child that wasn't much taller than Kaya did her best to sell some flowers to us. I really wasn't interested in the flowers, but I was curious as to how old this child could possibly be. I had Sam, Sheela's father, ask her and she didn't know. That also hit me kind of hard. What a tough life this kid lives and it will only get more difficult. She didn't even know her own age, there is no way she had any education and most likely no plans to do anything except just make it. I felt so bad for her. I bought the flowers, she stopped badgering us and left. I ran into her later and gave them back so she might make a few extra taka. I remember the days back in Belize when I would sit in my hammock and say to myself, "I need to appreciate all that I have." Well I am doing the same thing now. I truly treasure and value all that I am experiencing. I can already tell this will influence me in ways I don't even realize. I hope the same for Kaya and Miss Shia as well. Both times I have lived abroad it does something to me and I find myself thinking a lot more than I do when I am back in the States. There's a big world out there and I gotta see it....live it.....understand it.....

Holy #$%^ He did it!!! He qualified for Boston!!! He just finished. He ran a 3:08:59!!!! That is incredible. I love that guy so much. I am so happy for him!!!! Genna, can my brother stay with you when he comes to Boston!? What a stud, wow!!!

Good night, I think about you all often. I miss you and can't wait to see you sometime soon.

Here is a video of the drive to work. It must have been shot during Eid because there is no traffic. There is normally loads and loads of cars and rickshaws everywhere. At least you can see the route we take to school. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h54N8VEmsr4

Guest Contributor: Mama

Chris is in Malaysia this week for work: the 10th grade field trip this year is a week-long trip to Tioman Island, and Chris was invited to be a chaperone. Tough job. Not to be outdone, Kaya and I had our own adventure, a week with my parents and other relatives in Kolkata, India. It was a pretty amazing trip, so I thought I would share a few photos.

The trip was planned by my dad, who wanted the whole family to be in India during Durga Puja, the Hindu celebration of the goddess Durga. It is celebrated by Hindus around the world, but just as Rio de Janeiro is the place to be for Carnaval, Kolkata is the place to be for Durga Puja festivities. It is the biggest event of the year. The main attraction is the pandals, which are temporary structures that are built to house the statues of Durga and her family members, and in which the religious ceremonies take place. The main part of the festival lasts only five days, so one might think that the pandals would be very basic and reflect the temporary nature of their purpose. One would be wrong. Some may be pretty basic, but many of the pandals are bigger than peoples' homes. Many are multiple stories tall. Many are breathtakingly beautiful, artistic, and meticulously detailed, having taken nearly a year to plan and weeks or months to build. All of this for just a few days, after which they are dismantled and the planning begins for an entirely new and different pandal.

It's really impossible to describe the spectacle of Kolkata during Durga Puja -- despite hearing my father talk about it, I never imagined anything like what I saw -- but here are a few pictures. There are literally thousands of pandals in the city, and we saw just a few.

A pandal, easily four or five stories tall and covered top to bottom in tiny bits of glass. This was on the first of the five main Puja days, so we were told this crowd was "small." Note also the lights on the apartment buildings. The whole city was lit up like this, just for Puja.



Another pandal, huge and decorated with really fantastic paintings, with drummers walking around it. Everywhere we went in the city, there were drummers and music, starting at dawn and lasting well into the night. The drums were the soundtrack to our trip.


The statues of Durga and her family inside another pandal, attended by a priest (in orange). The statues are built from clay and then decorated, all by hand (again, only for five days!).

At the end of the five days, the statues of Durga are taken to the river, where they are immersed in the water so that she and her children can symbolically travel to reunite with her husband, Shiva. We went to the river to see the immersions, which was another incredible sight. There were trucks arriving constantly with statues from all over the city, and groups of people who had walked alongside the trucks, singing and dancing along the way, to bid Durga farewell.


The top photo is of trucks lined up (in the background) with statues waiting to be unloaded, and the bottom is of men carrying Durga down the riverbank.

Kaya was completely fascinated by Durga and can now identify her and name her children (Ganesh, Lakshmi, Saraswati, and Karthik), along with their attendant animals and the demon that Durga is usually depicted killing with a spear. Surely this knowledge will prove useful at some point.

Aside from all of that, we had a wonderful time with our family, and Kaya did really well. There will almost definitely be more trips to India in our future!

kaya strikes again

The hits just keep coming!

The other day I was about to leave for a softball game and I was talking to Kaya about it. His response to me telling him I play softball was, "But Daddy, girls play softball!"

Kaya has a fascination with rickshaws. So... we should not have been surprised the other day when he declared, "Daddy, when I grow up I want to be a rickshaw driver."

Yesterday was his Birthday. We had a nice party for him with a Thomas the Tank Engine cake, over 20 people and lots of presents. At the end of the day we were asking him how his Birthday went and whether he had a good time. His response: "Well... (long pause) not as exciting." We asked him why not, and he said, "Not many people came." (Meanwhile everyone except for two people that he invited had shown up.) We asked him who didn't come, and he said, "Gregory, and Uncle Josh, Aunt Kasey, Hannah, Ben, Elena, Aunt Jacque, Aunt Annie, Uncle Troy, Cooper...." You get the idea. For those who may not recognize these names, Gregory is his friend here in Dhaka. All the rest are family members who live in Omaha!!! Poor Kaya.

Finally, this evening I asked Kaya whether baseball was his favorite sport. He said no! When I asked what his favorite sport was, he said, "Playing!"

Also, I think it's so funny that in all these photos Kaya never has a shirt on!!! He is so his father's son....

not for everyone.

I tried not to vomit as I ran down the main road on my way to my school and eventually on to fields of green. It's not uncommon to see people urinating into the open sewage drains right in front of your very eyes. On this particular morning the stench was almost unbearable. Fortunately I was able to keep it together and I picked up the pace running away from the overpowering odors. It is a smell that I won't soon forget. When we lived in DC, Bunte (our dog/son) would find his way into the bushes and roll around in a homeless person's feces. This putrid odor had me gaging then and on the brink of vomiting now. Life here is not for everyone.

Aside from a teacher friend, my only running partner seems to be the pollution. It follows me almost everywhere. It almost always keeps up with me and makes sure to pace me through the 90 degree+ temperatures with close to 100% humidity. My lungs burn as I weave through traffic. At what point am I cancelling out the fitness with the toxic fumes I ingest!? Finding the motivation to run is sometimes difficult. I look forward to the fields not only for the lack of pollution, but the solitude I find. There aren't many instances when you will find yourself alone here in Dhaka. Bangladesh is one of the most densely populated countries in the world. There are 900 people for every square mile. Life here is not for everyone.

Being a foreigner has its definite perks. Some of these pros I have described in previous posts, others I will in due time. I would also say that it has a downside to it as well. I am often times viewed as a source of money and not a person. This makes integrating into the community rather difficult. Anyhow, I learned a valuable lesson upon first arriving here in Dhaka. No prices are ever final. Even if the price tag says 120 taka you can almost always get a better deal. It is the times when I don't see a tag that I become unsettled because what is then thrown my way is an inflated price that can sometimes be as much as 200% of what the item would normally cost. Generally speaking, I don't mind paying a little more for fruit or veggies, but this constant battle with local merchants to haggle can sometimes be a drag. Especially because I do feel guilty at times with all the money I have compared to them. A good friend of mind once told me that when he was on a trip to Mexico he was buying items from local vendors and he would just pay them what he deemed the value of the items to be. He didn't even ask a price. First of all, he didn't speak Spanish and secondly, he didn't mind paying more than what the item would cost normally. I have always thought that to be good advice. I have too much of my father in me to alway settle though.....( a quick story)

About a month ago I went into a store to purchase a chair. Sheela had done the research a week prior to that and got a quote on this fun chair we wanted for Kaya's room. The price seemed a bit high so I went in to see if the price changed depending on the customer. To my surprise the price was exactly the same as what Sheela was quoted. It was now my duty to knock the price down since it of course had to be overpriced. I looked at the chair, the cushion and shook my head. I told the man that this chair wasn't worth 4,500 taka. It didn't have a finish and the cushion was very poorly constructed. I said, with money in hand. Here is 4,000 taka can you help me move this to the van? I thought he would love the money right then and there and it would be too good to pass up. He of course said no, but he would take 4,200. I shook my head and walked out on the man. I really wanted to take the deal and run! It was only around a five dollars difference, but I felt if I came back another day he would surely drop down to 4,000. A week or two later stopped by and just my luck, the chair was gone! Good job Chris. I then described the chair to him and said he should make me one for 4,000 taka. This guy was no dummy, so he declined and reminded me that 4,200 was the price. I finally agreed and put down a 2,000 taka deposit. He made the chair and a week later it was delivered to Kaya's room. Haggling....not for everyone.

It bothers me to no end that EVERYWHERE I go I see people on the streets, begging for money and food. I don't blame them and I am not angry at them. I am instead bothered by the fact that there is really nothing I can do to change their lives. We sometimes buy extra food and hand it out as we go along, but that isn't a long term solution. It only provides that person with a meal for that moment. It breaks my heart when I see a lady with what I assume to be her naked child begging for anything. This is the reality of living in Dhaka. A country that has little in the way of any resources and a lot in the way of people. What are these people supposed to do? At night time you see kids running around barefoot and in rags. What future do they have? They can't or won't most likely get an education. Many of these kids will die at an early age or if they do grow up they will then become a burden to society in ways they can't help. It's not their fault. I feel terrible at times. I won't become numb to this. It hurts. Not for everyone.

A recent discussion with a family member gave me the idea for the theme of this post. "not for everyone." I in no way want to make this adventure seem like it's all peaches and cream. We are almost two months into it and it's not easy. We don't have everything we would have in the States, but we have more than enough to live a good life. (FYI our shipment still hasn't arrived so we continue to live out of our suitcases.) All things considered, we are happy and are grateful for this experience and will walk away, whenever that may be, better because of it. I am in no way claiming martyrdom but just trying to express, why?!

That being said, I want to tell a quick story that inspired me to first of all do Peace Corps and consequently changed my life. For the better...

John Grisham gave the commencement speech at Southern Miss in May of 1998. He boasted of having given the shortest commencement speech ever at Ole Miss just two years prior and he promised not to let that record stand. I had read a few of his books and enjoyed them, but was delighted to hear that he wouldn't be long. I was not anticipating his words would change my life. The gist of what he had to say was this: "As new graduates you shouldn't rush out to get jobs. Instead you should leave the country, live abroad and gain a new perspective. View the U.S. as an outsider would. Learn how people perceive us and see if the world is different than what you had expected. You would do more to help the world, your country and yourselves by gaining a new perspective." This in turn would assist us in finding gainful employment and ultimately help make us better people. The message he gave that day would stick with me and later on at a time of confusion guide me to my path I may have never considered. Good work John, thanks man!

Cue in the Jimmy Buffett song: He went to Paris....

I tell that story only to make a point. He was right, after Belize I often found myself longing to go back or to simply leave the country. I was a changed man and I feel like I continue to evolve in my views. Bangladesh is really one of the last places on Earth I had ever expected to end up. Well, Yemen would be another one of the not likely to live in countries. It is so different from anything I have ever experienced. I read about life in Dhaka, but reading and living are two different things. I take from this adventure all the good things, (a great job, money, an education for Kaya, etc..) I also absorb and attempt to comprehend the less pleasant things, (poverty, pollution, population, corruption, etc...) Both of which shape me in ways I could have never imagined or read about or visited. I have to live, I have to experience and in many ways, I have to be. Like Grisham said, "this will shape you in ways you could never imagine and in the end it will make you a better person." A better person, is ultimately what I want to be. A better world is where I want to live. In many ways this isn't the best life, but it is the path I have chosen. It's not for everyone, but I am grateful for every obstacle I face and am I appreciative of how it shapes me.

"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man, true nobility comes from being superior to your former self."




*Please note that all the thoughts and ideas on this blog are mine and mine alone. They in no way represent what my family or people from my country think. Also, if you can find me a teaching job in the States where I can support a family, put money towards retirement, savings, pay off debt and work one job I will come back as soon as my contract here is completed.

more kaya's quotes

this section could be the best part of the whole blog!

so the other day we asked kaya what he would name a dog if we got a new dog. he said,"dog." then we asked him what he would name a cat if we got a cat, (he really wants a cat). he said, "cat." so we asked about a fish and a bird, his responses of course were, "fish," and "bird." then we asked kaya, "well what if you had a brother, what would you name him?" without a pause he responded, "dwight." it was classic! so if we ever decide to have more kids, you can probably guess what our top choice for a boys name would be!!!

fyi, he was referring to dwight from the show the office.

that boy's a runnin' fool...

i am certain i will mention running in dhaka at some point. i am currently training for a marathon in thailand this december. www.chiangmaimarathon.com/

here is a link to a brief article about running in dhaka. it's not as bad as the author makes it out to be. i often run through fields just outside the hustle and bustle of dhaka and quite enjoy the escape. although i must say, thank goodness for podcasts and kiwis! oh how i miss you tim russert.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilh0CFpu6xwL82YZCTrfqdL3TImN4aiL_BvZRBdUIWHMR9UO2KxkXRUgc3UJEgKzlgYBFNbzBepshTImlW7ovePHZS-nNYiNK-BF6TUHExy1rNkuM435LiaCEpMPo4kZkFO4y9OUMcNFhS/s1600-h/Tropical+Trails+Asia+Runner.jpg

enjoy! new post in the works.....